the rest is still unwritten...

Exam period. 2 more papers. Barely prepared for it.

Just a thought which got me thinking.
Guess not studying hard enough really shows when all anxiety and panic sets upon you when you have no freaking clue how to do it even when its mcq, a 1 out of 4 chance of getting it right. The thought of negative marking downplays your confidence in picking in the right answer and you constantly doubt yourself whether the one chosen is indeed the one. Then after it is all over, you realise what a stupid mistake you have made, coz the first answer you thought of was the one. Thereafter, your mind becomes so preoccupied with all the mistakes from the paper, you can hardly concentrate on the other papers.

So now i gotta tell myself, FOCUS pris, FOCUS. That was just one paper. You still have the remaining two to do well and offset your mistakes. I often tell others to put the past behind them, but in reality i do not practice that. What a contradiction.

How will the next few days turn out, I'm not sure myself.

I think I wasn't suited for uni life in the very first place. I often lack the motivation and discipline to study. I was never consistent in my work. I guess this was one of the reasons I chose the poly route instead of the other. I must admit, I kind of enjoyed what I studied in poly, but in uni, its a total different story. I dread all the modules I am taking and always feel inferior to others, since they are so smart, their presentations were beautiful, they are naturally good speakers. So no matter how much effort you put in, the end results is still the same, constantly either an average or even below average student. Perhaps if I had started working after graduating from poly, my life might be different, I won't have to worry that poor grades will not land me an internship and ultimately a job. As i read how successful someone is, undeniably, you will feel envious, and how you wish it was you in her place. But in reality, it doesn't work this work. Grades, grades, grades decide your first job, an internship, exchange opportunity, etc. If only society can place less emphasis on grades, the world will be a happier place to live in.